You're Gone

People talk about how much they hurt when someone they loved died. I've had several people I love die in the past year but yours is the hardest. You are my brother. The other half of me. People always thought we were twins even though we had 2 years between us. You were sent away when I was 15 but you weren't "gone". I didn't see or hear from you for years but you still weren't "gone". Then Saturday May 13, 2017 happened and now you're gone. You are really gone. And I feel that pain I've heard about. My heart physically hurts. The tears keep coming. I can't sleep. You're gone. You're never coming back. No more phone calls, text messages, butt dials or silly Facebook posts. You're gone. I can still hear your voice saying "Hey Gayle, guess what...I love you".  Over and over I hear your voice in my head but you're gone. My heart is trying to run away to find you but it can't bring you back because you're gone. I have voice messages on my phone from you that  I can't listen to because it hurts so much. I was sleeping in your bed last night trying desperately to smell you again but your scent was gone. Today I finally opened the bag the hospital gave us that held your broken necklace so I could try to make you a new one and I smelled you. It was like a punch to my gut. I almost fell to the floor in the store, the pain was too much. I can smell you but you're gone. I finally got my brother back after a lifetime of misunderstanding and arguments and now you're gone. I don't want you to be gone. I want you back so I can tell you "Hey Mike, guess what...I love you".  Please don't be gone...